Everyone has the capacity to change, but doing so requires meaningful commitment to all aspects of change. Unfortunately, most people with abusive behaviors are unwilling to. Many of the factors behind abusive behaviors are learned attitudes and feelings of entitlement, which can be difficult to unlearn. Everyone deserves a healthy relationship free from abuse, including someone that may have abusive behaviors.
Reaching out for help is a great first step but ultimately it’s just that: a first step.
Actually changing your abusive behavior is what’s important.
Learn more about opportunities for people with abusive behaviors to get help changing their behaviors. Our advocates are available 24/7 to discuss your situation, answer any questions, and help you identify intervention programs near you.
Abusive behaviors can be difficult to recognize if you’re the one doing them.
Most people don’t like to acknowledge that they’re harming others, but admitting that you may be hurting your partner is a prerequisite to changing your ways.
Ask yourself if you:
Other signs that your behavior is abusive may be observed in your partner’s reactions to you.
Ask yourself if they:
If you recognize these behaviors in yourself or how your partner reacts, it could be a sign that you’re hurting them. This can be a difficult realization to come to but it’s vital that you do so if you want to change and stop harming your partner. By acknowledging that your actions are harmful and taking responsibility for them, you can continue to progress on the path toward correcting them.
Ultimately, the decision as to whether your actions are harmful to others isn’t yours to make, and you can’t meaningfully change while harboring expectations of forgiveness.
Progress in changing abusive behavior requires an ongoing commitment to sustained change and a willingness to accept responsibility for your actions.
These signs could indicate progress in your recovery:
Remember: change is possible but it won’t come easily. Acknowledging that your behaviors are unhealthy or abusive is a great first step. It’s never too late to seek help.
Some people who contact us identify as having abusive behaviors or are concerned about behaviors that might be unhealthy.
At The Hotline, we treat all contacts with dignity and respect, and are committed to supporting anyone who wants to take responsibility for their actions.
Every call from someone who’s becoming more aware of their unhealthy behavior is an opportunity to work toward their change, for their sake and the sake of the people they harm.
Here’s what to expect when contacting The Hotline for help changing your abusive behavior:
All contacts made to The Hotline are always free, confidential, and free of judgement. If you’re looking for someone to talk to about your situation, our advocates can help you begin to address what’s going on in your relationship.
You are not alone.
National Domestic Violence Hotline
PO Box 90249
Austin, Texas 78709
Administrative Line: 737-225-3150
The Hotline ®
National Domestic Violence Hotline
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